sábado, 14 de junio de 2025

Chris Pratt Must Die

 Prompt: 

ChatGPT, I need a pitch to sell my a new movie script that I'm writing. It is about the story about an actor called "Chris Pratt" that had been secretly married to a Schwarzenegger daughter while he had been also secretly married to a Stallone daughter at the same time. Both Schwarzenegger and Stallone find out about this and a competition start to see who can kill Chris Pratt first. As part of the plot, since bigamy can destroy America, the FBI and CIA are also trying to get Chris. The climax of the movie will be the moment that Schwarzenegger and Stallone see that they need to join efforts to get Chris and together lift up of a huge basuka and two finally kill Chris, understanding that important value of teamwork. The movie is called "Cris Pratt Must Die". 

 Response:

 


🎬 Movie Pitch: “Chris Pratt Must Die”

Genre: Action-Comedy | Satire | Buddy Revenge Thriller
Tone: The Expendables meets The Death of Stalin with a dash of The Other Guys
Tagline: Two legends. One target. America’s dumbest crisis begins now.


Logline:
When Hollywood heartthrob Chris Pratt is exposed as a secret bigamist—simultaneously married to the daughters of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone—all hell breaks loose. As the two aging action icons race to kill him first in a twisted game of macho vengeance, the FBI and CIA launch their own pursuit, fearing that Pratt’s scandal could unravel America’s moral fabric. In a climax of explosive proportions, old enemies must unite for one final blow—and a very large bazooka.


🔥 Why This Movie Works

  • Star Power Parody: It’s meta-Hollywood gold. Real-life titans playing themselves in an exaggerated war of egos.

  • Action-Comedy Fusion: High-octane chases, brutal one-liners, increasingly absurd assassination attempts—from gym traps to exploding protein shakes.

  • Satirical Edge: A hilarious critique of celebrity culture, toxic masculinity, and the absurd things America will do “for freedom.”

  • Big Finish: A slow-motion, tag-team bazooka shot as Stallone and Schwarzenegger finally embrace the true meaning of... teamwork.


🎭 Cast Concept (Ideal Dream Team)

  • Chris Pratt as himself (clueless, charming, tragically overconfident)

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone as ultra-heightened versions of themselves

  • Katherine Schwarzenegger and Sophia Stallone (playing themselves or fictionalized versions)

  • CIA Agent: Idris Elba or Ana de Armas

  • FBI Director: J.K. Simmons (yelling a lot)


💰 The Hook

In a landscape of tired reboots and superhero fatigue, Chris Pratt Must Die gives audiences what they secretly crave:
nostalgia-fueled mayhem with actual stakes, absurd twists, and actors gleefully roasting their own legacies.

Plus, with a name like that?
Viral marketing sells itself.


🎯 Target Audience

  • Action junkies

  • Fans of self-aware comedy (Deadpool, Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express)

  • Millennials and Gen Z who love meta-culture, memes, and celebrity drama

  • Anyone who’s asked, “Wait, how many Marvel actors are married into famous families?”


🚀 Final Word

Chris Pratt Must Die isn’t just a movie. It’s a cinematic event—a wild, weaponized love letter to action films, masculinity, and the surreal circus of fame. It’s time for Arnold and Sly to team up one last time... and kill Chris Pratt.


 

Elevator Pitch:
Chris Pratt Must Die is a high-octane action-comedy where Chris Pratt is caught secretly married to both a Schwarzenegger and a Stallone daughter—at the same time. When the truth explodes, Arnold and Sly go to war to see who can kill him first. Meanwhile, the FBI and CIA join the hunt, fearing that Pratt’s bigamy could destabilize the moral core of America. It’s The Expendables meets Tropic Thunder, with Hollywood icons playing over-the-top versions of themselves. The finale? A team-up bazooka shot that proves the real power is... friendship—and explosives.


 

🎨 Poster Concept: “Chris Pratt Must Die”

Main Visual:

  • Center Frame:
    Chris Pratt (looking oblivious and slightly panicked) is mid-run toward the viewer, holding a wedding bouquet in each hand, tuxedo ripped, lipstick on his collar, and a shadow of a wedding ring tan on each hand.

  • Left Side:
    Arnold Schwarzenegger, sunglasses on, sleeveless leather jacket, holding half of a giant custom bazooka resting on his shoulder. His side of the bazooka is engraved with “Hasta la vista, Pratt.”

  • Right Side:
    Sylvester Stallone, grimacing, headband and gloves, holding the other half of the same bazooka, engraved with “Yo, Adrian—He’s mine.”

  • Both men are glaring at each other over Chris’s head while unknowingly about to fire together.

Background:

  • A chaotic city street in flames, wedding cakes smashed, doves flying, and CIA helicopters swarming overhead.

  • Hidden Easter eggs: A crumpled Avengers poster, a fake tabloid cover headline (“DOUBLE WEDDING, DOUBLE BETRAYAL!”), and a red “WANTED” FBI poster with Pratt’s face.

Tagline (top or bottom):

“Two fathers. One betrayal. Zero chance of survival.”
or
“Bigamy was his biggest mistake. Teamwork will be his last.”

Title (Bottom Center):

🎯 CHRIS PRATT MUST DIE
(in bold, explosive metallic font with scorch marks and wedding rings hanging off a bullet hole in the ‘A’)